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  • Family fun

    “It’s about communicating with our kids,

    talking to them and listening to

    their answers.”



  • children.


    Now on Sale!

        Respect YOUR Children

         A Practical Guide To Effective Parenting


Featured Shows

blogtalkradio-logo Listen to Jay at BlogTalkRadio live. Access past radio episodes and follow for future episodes! Explore Jay's shows which discuss various issues within the family relationship and assist people to become a generation of change, and not repeat the negative patterns from their past.

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Who is the Family Answer Man?

Jay Fitter is a licensed family therapist with 20 years experience and answers your questions on all relationships issues.

Why He Does it…

My father had a 3rd grade education, and my mother 5th grade. My childhood was spent in poverty, moving in and out of apartments and motels. Much of our food came from church donations and we had used clothing.

My father was verbally and physically abusive and died when I was sixteen. I had already been working to help support the family, but after he passed , I had to work full time. My parents were told by school administrators when I was in elementary school that I was going to be a drop out. I attended in excess of twenty schools, often not even remembering what state I was in. There was virtually no adult guidance through my childhood and teen tears, as a result I made a lot of poor choices.

When I became an adult, I decided that I didn’t want to pass this kind of life on to my children.

I have seen the positive changes that have occurred in parents, kids, and even hard core gang members in juvenile hall. I know that we can’t change the past, but we don’t have to repeat it either.

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Ask Jay

Ask Jay

Ask Family Therapist, Jay Fitter through Facebook. Present your questions during a LIVE show and your answers may be aired.


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Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places:

Q. My husband and I have been married for 17 years, I love him very much, when we had been married for 4 years I had an affair, we ended it and my husband and I moved forward and worked in us, recently I found out he was cheating, he says he wants us to work things out and loves me and wants to be with me, we have been in counseling, at first I really wanted things to work but I feel so distant from him now, and just don't feel the same for him:( recently i got in contact with the man I had the affair with and he is now divorced, him and I had this connection my husband and I have never had, he is an amazing guy, I just want to know if I should just settle and keep working at my marriage or move on and maybe find true happiness???

A. Thank you for your question. I know the answer that you're looking for. Unfortunately, love and life are not that simple.
Obviously your marriage is far from perfect, then again so are most marriages. There has been infidelity on both of your parts, as well as attempts to seek help to improve the relationship.
This sort of reminds me of that old saying about the grass always being greener on the other side, then we find out that, in reality it's not. Maybe things have gone too far, and are beyond repair in your marriage. Even if that is the case, I don't think that I would recommend starting a new relationship immediately. Regardless of how good the other person seems right now, I can almost guarantee you that it's some point in the future, you will find someone who seems even better, or regret making such a major decision when you were so vulnerable. If that happens, Will you leave this person in search of happiness?
Take some time for you, to learn to love yourself and decide what you want for the rest of your life. If this other person really cares about you, he will give you the time and space you need. You may decide after spending some time without a man in your life, that you want to resolve things with your husband. You may also decide to proceed with this other relationship. In either case, the decision won't be based strictly on emotion, but in having the opportunity to consider what's in your best interest today as well as the future. I would encourage you to process some of these thoughts with someone you trust, or a professional therapist.
If you know someone that may benefit from the information on this page, feel free to forward the post to them. To get all of my future posts, just "like" Family Answer Man on Facebook. I will attempt to answer all of your questions on Parenting, Relationships, and Children submitted in a timely manner. Send a private message if you don't want your name to be seen.

15 hours ago  ·  



“It’s about communicating with our kids, talking to them and listening to their answers”


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Get in Touch

Contact Mr. Jay Fitter on Facebook, Twitter, or through email.  To schedule an appointment, please contact Jay’s office phone number – (951) 272-8304

Jay’s office is located in Southern California.

jay [at] familyanswerman.com

(951) 272-8304